Suburban Minnesota monster Michele Bachmann is celebrating her 55th birthday today, probably by playing “pin the gun on the Kenyan.” When the certifiably insane foster-baby farmer won her congressional district seat back in 2006 (the “Year of the Democrats,” haha), who knew that she was less a clownish anomaly than the actual future of the Republican party. Who knew that this proudly ignorant, lie-spouting duckface would soon come to represent the entirety of Republican thought?
In the days before Michele Bachmann, Republicans used to have to pretend to “follow the issues” and “engage in semi-logical debate,” even as they were pursuing their two primary goals of a) shoveling money and federal largess to the super-rich and b) hypocritically engaging in sex-crime trials against abortion and blowjobs even as they all schtupped “Young Republican” intern boys under their desks.
Michele changed all that. No longer would Republicans have to even pretend to know history or understand budgets or even be able to read the basic notes staffers prepared before another Fox News appearance. Just say whatever, and look crazily at something way off in the distance, and repeatedly call the president a spooky African. Winning the future!
