FLOTUS Taking on the FATSOS

America is full of fat children, and fat adults. This we know. But did you also know that America has many fat babies? It is more difficult to spot them, sandwiched between all the aforementioned full-grown fat people, but that doesn’t mean that Michelle Obama hasn’t noticed these sneaky, milk-guzzling fatsos. And since our FLOTUS is not one to sit idly by while Americans gorge themselves, she has decided to combat this baby fat problem and put a stop to it before it spirals out of control. In America, privileged babies exit the womb and are immediately put into the loving arms of a full-time non-relative caregiver, perhaps an illegal Colombian, who nurtures them and takes them to Montessori school when the time is right. The less fortunate babies are sent to live at day care, where they mix with other babies and do things like the "Dougie" bunny hop .

Link