What's worse? Severe Drought or GAAAAYS!

Rick Perry recently skipped Texas, where there is an epic drought engulfing 90% of the state, so that he could tell social conservatives at a GOP donor sleepover party in Aspen (ahem) that the recent passage of a gay marriage bill in New York was its own business, states rights, etc. Then, here’s a little quiz, massive outrage ensued about which of these two things, the fact that he a) skipped out on drought management or b) does not hate gays enough?



So here’s the situation, from a report by the AP:

Texas’ economy will take a more direct hit. Agriculture accounted for $99.1 billion of Texas’ $1.1 trillion economy, or 8.6 percent, in 2007, the most recent year data on food and fiber was available from the extension service. Losses in that sector have a ripple effect that’s about twice the amount of the actual agricultural loss.
“That’s a fairly substantial portion of the Texas economy that’s going through this hardship,” Anderson said.
And, it’s a hardship that’s following close on the heels of others. Texas suffered droughts in 2005-06 and 2008-09, although those were mostly regional. This year’s is broader and more intense. The state is coming off its driest nine-month period ever and its hottest June on record. More than 90 percent of the state is in the two most severe drought stages.

Is it fair to even ask Rick Perry to be in charge of something like a natural disaster? Historically, that has always been something that is the federal government’s fault. Here is the Texas Tribune, wondering about this:

Partly because of the relative powerlessness of the state, the consensus of political observers is that the drought is unlikely to cause a political problem for Perry, even if he campaigns around the country while Texas continues to dry out. “This drought would be going on whether he was in Texas or Hong Kong,” Seliger says. “That’s not the point.”
Historically, however, during the worst drought in recorded Texas history — the 1950s — the governor, Allan Shivers, did take a prominent role in working to get more aid flowing to stricken areas.

Yes, historically something terrible like a sweeping drought may have been something a governor worried about and tried to correct, but Rick Perry is too much of a Christian for that.

OMG it was a WHITE GUY? (Crickets Chirping)

This weekend in Norway where a bombing and a shooting have left many people dead, but it’s always safe for American Idiots on the Internet to jump in with a suspect (“Muslims”) and a verdict (“guilty”) and a list of co-conspirators (“Obama and the liberals”) and a punishment (“kill ‘em all”). No matter that a tall blond man of “Norwegian appearance” and wearing a police uniform is described as the shooter on Norway’s Utoya Island — thee muslins are increasingly able to appear as whatever people or things they want to appear as, just like the Cylons or Harry Potter. Here’s what the foreign policy experts at FreeRepublic.com are saying about the attacks right now. Read posts 1-151, all ignorant assbags who completely stop posting as soon as its announced its a "Typical White Guy"

USA! USA! USA!

Herman Cain: First Amendment Says Muslims Not Allowed To Build Mosques

According to Herman Cain’s latest terrorismism reports from Tennessee, he can safely tell us that whatever the Mooslims over there are up to these days, it is “not innocent.” Tennessee is practically Afghanistan, is how bad things have gotten, which means that it is full of poor, mostly illiterate people ruled by intolerant religious fanatics and opium meth addiction. So because of this, the jihadists hiding out there want to build another mosque, a request legally known as “rape of the First Amendment,” because free exercise of religion is magically its total opposite whenever a Muslim practices it. 
What exactly is it that the terrorists want? A mosque, they just want to build a mosque, known in English as a “church.” For worshipping, on their own, their own religion, which is unlike running for office and trying to write legislation in a number of ways. Herman Cain can’t tell those ways apart.
Here he is blathering incoherently on Chris Wallace’s Fox News Sunday morning show:

“Our Constitution guarantees separation of church and state,” Cain explained. “Islam combines church and state. They are using the church part of our First Amendment to infuse their mosque in that community and people in the community do not like it, they disagree with it. Sharia law is what they are trying to infuse… What I am saying is American laws in American courts.”

“Couldn’t any community then say we don’t want a mosque in our community?” Wallace asked.
“They could say that,” Cain admitted. “They are objecting to the fact that Islam is both a religion and set of laws, Sharia law. That is the difference between any one of our other traditional religions where it’s just about religious purposes. The people in the community know best. I happen to side with the people in the community.”

Yes, silly Islam with all its “laws,” they should just have something more like the Bible, that book about dinosaurs.

Whites Don't get the Money Cause Dem Blacks Took it.

Crazy Michele Bachmann was visiting flood-affected regions along the Missouri River when she was asked a very simple question about whether she thought proposed government cuts to the USDA should worry farmers needing help because of the damage. Normally Bachmann would get going on her “government isn’t here to solve your problems” speech, but… oh, uh hey, everyone here is white, right? Yeah okay, so here’s the real problem, everyone: black farmers stole the money that Michele would have given you. If those black farmers would stop asking for government money, Michele would hand it right back out to some of the actually needy white farmers!
Michele is illogically referring to a class action lawsuit in which black farmers won a case against the USDA for decades-long discrimination in handing out loans and farm aid, a payment which has cost over a billion dollars to date. Michele incorrectly understands this as “wasteful spending” since it is not a budget item but rather something a court legally ordered the U.S. government to pay. It’s not like she went to “law school” or anything guys, what do you want from her?
From the AP:

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann pointed to one program in particular Monday when talking about wasteful government spending: a multibillion dollar settlement paid to black farmers, who claim the federal government discriminated against them for decades in awarding loans and other aid.
The issue came up after Bachmann and Republican Rep. Steve King of Iowa toured flooded areas along the Missouri River. During a news conference, they fielded a question about whether farmers affected by the flooding also should be worried by proposed U.S. Department of Agriculture cuts.
The two responded by criticizing a 1999 settlement in what is known as the Pigford case, after the original plaintiff, North Carolina farmer Timothy Pigford. Late last year, President Barack Obama signed legislation authorizing a new, nearly $1.2 billion settlement for people who were denied payments in the earlier one because they missed deadlines for filing.

This from a question about whether the government should consider easing back on cuts to the USDA.

Education Naye...Confederacy Yay!

It is hard times, hard choices in Alabama, where legislators have been forced like in many other states to slash funding for their state parks and historical monuments because of priorities, etc. “But who will think of the trees and the history?” Eh, no one, next question. “But who will think of the racists?” OH HEY, that is a better question. Good point, Alabama will keep exactly one state park in pristine condition, the one that is dedicated to remembering America’s original 9/11, the loss of the Confederacy. That’s worth a property tax, isn’t it?

Obama Almost put up for Adoption

It is common knowledge in this country that the path to a legitimate American presidency begins with baptizing a white baby in a fountain of oil and money and includes a few years of reckless drug experimentation and, potentially, a religious epiphany, before the Bombing and Ruining Everything phase kicks in. This is why Americans are so frustrated with Barack Obama and his confusing family history, with all its Kenyans and fake birth certificates and near-adoptions. Yes, apparently Barack Obama was sort of, almost, maybe put up for adoption, and only narrowly escaped the fate of becoming a Bachmann foster child. Oh, if only Barry had been adopted, he could have been a contributing member of society, instead of a secret Muslim dictator.

Tea Party Admits They Are What We Thought They Were.

OH YEEHAW THA FORF OF JULY, time for the awful racist slobs of Lexington, Kentucky to put on their best “warding off the coloreds and the Muslins” finery in honor of Jesus, Hitler and Thomas Jefferson. Do you like seeing the hate-bomb that is puking all over the American flag, on this man’s t-shirt? Does it capture your patriotic spirit? He will sell you another, to wear to the parade!  This is how serious the birth control situation is in Kentucky, because broken condoms result in tragedies like this man, selling apparel to people who want to honor America’s founding dressed like White-Trash (redundant?) Klansmen. Were there even other tragic people interested in buying from him, or was his booth FOR SOME UNIMAGINABLE REASON labeled “Tea Party Fox News” on the front?

 His shirt says "Yes I'm a Racist"

Yee-Haw Capitalism Done Won Again in Texas!

The budget heroes (The Rick Perry Disciples) of Alto, Texas have run the numbers, and they have concluded the town’s police force was just not very lucrative when it came to the town’s revenues, probably because police are typical “government freeloaders.” Snip saw hack! So the city council cut the police department from the budget, fired all the policemen for not doing anything at all besides sucking tax dollars down the drain, and sent them home. Is it really so bad? Maybe now the fired coppers can work as freelancers, like in Mexico, where the free market handles security decisions correctly, with capitalism. And probably the neighborhood vigilante mob with its rifles will fill in the gaps, so this is now officially a great idea.

Hang in there, Alto. Capitalism will protect you until the socialist freeloader police come back to ruin your lives again.

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