Black Women Denied Her Right to Vote

Racist Republicans in Tennessee have their first success with the new “Voter ID” requirement: A 96-year-old black lady who has voted in all but one election (in 1960) that she was legally eligible to vote in has been denied the right to take part in democracy. Why? Oh, just some piece of missing paperwork. That’s the point of “Voter ID,” to stop people you don’t want voting — the poor, minorities, take your pick! — on a technicality. This is how so many black Americans were denied the vote in the South for a hundred years after being “emancipated.”


Dorothy Cooper, who worked her whole life as a housemaid, went down to see the authorities because she’d heard Tennessee’s racist new law would require a pile of documents for those who tried to vote in the future. And she was denied a Voter ID by a clerk at the counter, just as planned by the evil legislators who approved the law:

That morning, Cooper slipped a rent receipt, a copy of her lease, her voter registration card and her birth certificate into a Manila envelope. Typewritten on the birth certificate was her maiden name, Dorothy Alexander.
“But I didn’t have my marriage certificate,” Cooper said Tuesday afternoon, and that was the reason the clerk said she was denied a free voter ID at the Cherokee Boulevard Driver Service Center.
“I don’t know what difference it makes,” Cooper said.

I know what difference it makes. Dorothy Cooper is African-American.

Dumb GOP Politician Still Has No Idea How America Works

Alabama is just the latest backwards state to legally codify its crusader witch hunt against the illegal immigrant wizards working their back-breaking field labor black magick on Alabama’s giant agriculture industry, but the state’s recently-enacted set of draconian worst-ever anti-immigrant laws are working a little too fast: zillions of Alabama tomatoes are rotting away in the fields this harvest season as undocumented immigrants flee like hell. Tomato farmers got together to protest these vicious dingus laws and make GOP state senator Scott Beason — the same creepy racist turd blossom who called African Americans “aborigines” — haul around one of the tomato buckets for five seconds to see how heavy they are. Beason felt he was too good for this and refused to pick it up, which is…hey, exactly like every other legal worker in Alabama!
The AP has the details of the Tomato Bucket Incident:

Tomato farmer Brian Cash said the migrant workers who would normally be on Chandler Mountain have gone to other states with less restrictive laws.
After talking with famers at the tomato shed, Beason visited the Smith family’s farm. Leroy Smith, Chad Smith’s father, challenged the senator to pick a bucket full of tomatoes and experience the labor-intensive work.
Beason declined but promised to see what could be done to help farmers while still trying to keep illegal immigrants out of Alabama.
Smith threw down the bucket he offered Beason and said, “There, I figured it would be like that.”

Oh well, at least Alabama and Scott Beason got to make their Important Point, about being dicks.

50% of Republicans Don't Know What GOP Stands For

It’s time for the greatest scientific barometer of America’s intellect, the Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of dingbat potpourri questions thrown at a representative sample of Americans who haven’t had their phone lines turned off by Verizon yet. What did our pollsters ask this time? To be weird, instead of asking a series of completely random questions, they focused on “Things Republicans Don’t Know.” For example, you’d think Republicans might know what “GOP” stands for, as they’ve all got those “GOProud” stickers on their repo’d Ford Expeditions. But they have no idea, and most probably pronounce it as a monosyllabic grunt, to ask for another microwaved styrofoam plate of CostCo “rib-meat bitelets.” This may be the best survey of America yet!


Republicans also can’t keep track of who we’re supposed to HATE, because it’s so confusing since Reagan and Bin Laden tricked the Soviets into going to Afghanistan, to die as an empire, just like we did these last 10 years. So, to be safe, most Republicans still want to nuke the Soviets and also see Saudi Arabia as an actual Enemy of America that we are having wars against, even though the Holy Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is George W. Bush and Dick Cheney’s favorite ally in the War Against Muslims. The way Republicans see the world, you’d think Saudi Arabian terrorists successfully attacked New York and the Pentagon and totally terrorized the whole country into submission! (Oh wait ….)
From the Vanity Fair press release:

ALMOST HALF OF REPUBLICANS THINK BOTH RUSSIA AND
SAUDI ARABIA ARE ENEMIES
LAS VEGAS CONSIDERED THE MOST DECADENT CITY IN THE U.S.
JUST MORE THAN HALF OF REPUBLICANS KNOW WHAT “G.O.P.” STANDS FOR
Just more than half of Republicans (51 percent) and 45 percent of Americans overall correctly identify the meaning of “G.O.P.” as Grand Old Party. The second most popular choice, with 35 percent of the overall vote, was “Government of the People.” “Grumpy Old People” received 7 percent of the vote, “God’s Own Party” 3 percent, and 1 percent thought the abbreviation stood for “Gauntlet of Power.”

Okay, unfair, survey people! You are not allowed to just make shit up because of course a fraction of people will say “Yep that sounds right” no matter what you say. Unfair. Uncool.